16 July 2007
some realitiesi'm in my "i'm so ugly" phase.
i heard that we are all entitled to brew this kind of drama every once in a while. last night, met up with ler in select katipunan at 3am. i was feeling this shitty: "you know, if you tell me to meet you somewhere, i will." so i found myself driving through a very creepy commonwealth avenue and was reminded of a post-apocalyptic scenario. i had my windows down.
at select, just aftrer i ordered cold milo, i asked the cashier if i was ugly.
* * *
i'm also in a "it sucks to be poor" phase.
but really, i am. once, during dinner, my sister asked me which bank i had my money in. i didn't have any savings. she was apalled. the same sister told me that it would take me 3 months to earn what she would make just for one procedure.
no matter. i don't really want to compare because among the 2 of us, i am sure that i am the one who'se been around more. it's not how much you have but how you spend it, right? and at least i can say that i've really been enjoying life.
i was never taught both by my parents or by circumstances to spend wisely. a life of decadence. now, however too late it is, i'm trying to learn how it is to make oneself rich. i'm starting by budgeting.
someday, i will master this art.
* * *
i haven't been going to mass.
everything i hear in it just gets lost in me anyway. my father used to berate me for this. one time, during dinner, while the girls were still in the ladies room, i told him the truth. "i'm just not going to mass right now. there are a few things that i want to sort out."
that's when the cold cuts came. and he never forced me to go to mass again.
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