15 March 2006
blas from the past (sic): a mcpostis it ironic that i am bored even if i have a gazillion things to do? well mostly for school. that's my talent, i guess. i can get bored even if i should be busy. i heard that some would classify this as sloth.
***
i haven't been posting. that's another talent. actually, just like my work backlog, i’ve got a gazillion stories to tell. and i am not talking about the brilliant (i think) short story concepts that i have in my head (that all remain to be just that: concepts), but actual non-fiction. which is actually weird for somebody who's self absorbed. would you not expect the blog of someone like me to be full of entries, well about myself and how exciting my life is?
this past month or so, i've gotten myself into some "blog-worthy" situations like getting lost in mongkok in hk (and! i left my shopping bag in the counter and only realized it when i was back at the hotel, a couple of train stops away), had to go through a high school barkada get-together and a grade school friends dinner. and oh, i am looking for a job. i am actually looking for work. who would have thought. (yes, period, and not a question mark.)
prior to tonight, i'd actually deluded myself that i can go on without actually earning money and that getting paid to be my parents' son could actually cover too that little thing that spoiled brats usually ignore: fulfillment. i havent realized the importance of career fulfillment yet but it may come. what really irks me is that my well's so dried up i can't join my friends to boracay this summer. i must find a job and earn cash and go on sprees periodically.
the other night, i was talking to a friend lotte and i realized that i could easily spend 3,000 bucks a day without being capricious. i mean if i want to live my life the way i really want to. decent food, enough gas, parking, and all that stuff--then 3,000 a day is not a scandalous budget. so i computed it (i needed a calculator, im such a math loser) and found out that in order for this to happen, i must earn close to 100,000 a friggin month. and when will that happen? when im close to retirement age?
since this is a mcpost, and i am fooling myself by thinking that i shall soon be dragging my lazy ass in front of the computer to type down detailed narrations of these occurrences, i will just end this by saying that lazy as i may be, full of flaws and everything, i just realized that i have good friends.
all the get-together events have made me realize that:
1) i can rekindle MOST friendships from the past (yes, hans, i've finally found myself a case of full-depreciation, and you know what, the thing about those is that it's nothing to feel sorry for. i still am royalty, in a sick collegiate and fucked up way.)
2) the friendships i have--or more appropriately, enjoy--now are still intact not because i am a good friend but because i was blessed to have met people who accept me for who i am. because through all these years, god knows i've done the same for them. and if you are reading this and i call you a friend, then you should know that even if we talk and you find yourself hearing me wishing ill of all those losers out there, i want nothing but the best for you.
but then who am i kidding? most of my friends are lazy to pay attention to blogs that are not photoblogs.
***
lotte and i had dinner and the most important thing i've learned from the conversation we had was that: a real gorilla doesn't know that it's a gorilla.
so i should tell myself to stop analyzing life and to just fucking live it. and to try writing about it here.
and because she was asking about it since she hasn't seen it yet, i told her (re "Brokeback Mountain"): "i wasn't compelled. and i'm gay."
***
for the past weeks (actually ever since i got back from hk--and i went there mid feb) the music playing in my head's always from 'evita.' i do not know why. imagine: "santa santa evita... 'madre delos todos del ninos, delos trabajadores delos descamisados del Argentina [and then some more spanish shit]..."
another musically related nugget: i finally searched the lyrics of "mr. brightside" by the killers and was spectacularly mortified to find out that for the longest time now, the lyrics i have been singing (rather loudly in public) is fantastically screwed up. ignorance of this was bliss. at least now, i know the correct words.
***
i haven't been posting. that's another talent. actually, just like my work backlog, i’ve got a gazillion stories to tell. and i am not talking about the brilliant (i think) short story concepts that i have in my head (that all remain to be just that: concepts), but actual non-fiction. which is actually weird for somebody who's self absorbed. would you not expect the blog of someone like me to be full of entries, well about myself and how exciting my life is?
this past month or so, i've gotten myself into some "blog-worthy" situations like getting lost in mongkok in hk (and! i left my shopping bag in the counter and only realized it when i was back at the hotel, a couple of train stops away), had to go through a high school barkada get-together and a grade school friends dinner. and oh, i am looking for a job. i am actually looking for work. who would have thought. (yes, period, and not a question mark.)
prior to tonight, i'd actually deluded myself that i can go on without actually earning money and that getting paid to be my parents' son could actually cover too that little thing that spoiled brats usually ignore: fulfillment. i havent realized the importance of career fulfillment yet but it may come. what really irks me is that my well's so dried up i can't join my friends to boracay this summer. i must find a job and earn cash and go on sprees periodically.
the other night, i was talking to a friend lotte and i realized that i could easily spend 3,000 bucks a day without being capricious. i mean if i want to live my life the way i really want to. decent food, enough gas, parking, and all that stuff--then 3,000 a day is not a scandalous budget. so i computed it (i needed a calculator, im such a math loser) and found out that in order for this to happen, i must earn close to 100,000 a friggin month. and when will that happen? when im close to retirement age?
since this is a mcpost, and i am fooling myself by thinking that i shall soon be dragging my lazy ass in front of the computer to type down detailed narrations of these occurrences, i will just end this by saying that lazy as i may be, full of flaws and everything, i just realized that i have good friends.
all the get-together events have made me realize that:
1) i can rekindle MOST friendships from the past (yes, hans, i've finally found myself a case of full-depreciation, and you know what, the thing about those is that it's nothing to feel sorry for. i still am royalty, in a sick collegiate and fucked up way.)
2) the friendships i have--or more appropriately, enjoy--now are still intact not because i am a good friend but because i was blessed to have met people who accept me for who i am. because through all these years, god knows i've done the same for them. and if you are reading this and i call you a friend, then you should know that even if we talk and you find yourself hearing me wishing ill of all those losers out there, i want nothing but the best for you.
but then who am i kidding? most of my friends are lazy to pay attention to blogs that are not photoblogs.
***
lotte and i had dinner and the most important thing i've learned from the conversation we had was that: a real gorilla doesn't know that it's a gorilla.
so i should tell myself to stop analyzing life and to just fucking live it. and to try writing about it here.
and because she was asking about it since she hasn't seen it yet, i told her (re "Brokeback Mountain"): "i wasn't compelled. and i'm gay."
***
for the past weeks (actually ever since i got back from hk--and i went there mid feb) the music playing in my head's always from 'evita.' i do not know why. imagine: "santa santa evita... 'madre delos todos del ninos, delos trabajadores delos descamisados del Argentina [and then some more spanish shit]..."
another musically related nugget: i finally searched the lyrics of "mr. brightside" by the killers and was spectacularly mortified to find out that for the longest time now, the lyrics i have been singing (rather loudly in public) is fantastically screwed up. ignorance of this was bliss. at least now, i know the correct words.
***
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